By *Caritaz
It’s budget season once again sa Kongreso. Wala na namang kontrol ang flood ng bariles ng humba o pork barrel. Kaya, pag-usapan uli natin ang pork and other corrupted dishes. We have a 2025 updated menu, with PUSIT, COCHINILLO, KABAB, PARES at PANCIT as new best sellers.
Despite the 2013 Supreme Court declaration that pork barrel (then known as PDAF, Presidential Development Assistance Fund) is unconstitutional, it is still very much part of the national budget allocation debate until now.
So, here’s how “pork” and other “dishes” are possibly being prepared from the “menu” I compiled since 2013. Pick your choice from the corrupted menu.
Baboy pa rin
1. HUMBA: Horrifyingly Unlimited Money for Bossing and Allies
2. COCHINILLO: Confidential Checklist of Inday’s Inititiative Legalizing Largesse Operations
3. LIEMPO: Lawmakers Initiative for Emergency, Miscellaneous and Personal Outlay
4. LECHON: Livelihood Empowerment for Countrywide Humanitarian Outlaw Network
5. PIG: Pinagandang Iligal na Gastusin
6. SEBO: Selective Enforcement of Budgetary Outlays
7. PIGGY: President’s Initiative for Good Governance countrYwide
8. BABOY: Bossing’s Awesome Budget for Outstanding Allies of the Year
9. CASIM: Countrywide Assistance for Special and Important Matters
10. BACON-PD: Budget for Allies for Continuation of Party Dominance
11. HAM: Hearty Allocation of Money
12. BACON: Budgetary Allocation for Crooks’ Outreach Nationwide
13. PATA: Politician’s Allowance and Treasury Allocation
14. SISIG: Social Initiative for Service in Governance
15. PORK: President’s Overt Revenue Kickback
16. POCHERO: President’s Outlay for Countrywide Handling of Emergency Rehabilitation for Opulence
17. OINK: Outlay for the Interest of Ninong and Kinsfolk
18. CRISPY PATA: Countrywide Re-distribution of the Inherent Source of Patronage for the Yeomen President’s Allies, Toads and Associates
19. LARD: Legislative Allocation for Reform and Development
20. BINAGOONGAN: Barangay Initiatives for New Allocations Granting Oversight On Non-Government Associations Nationwide
21. PORK BELLY: Presidential Oversight for Relatives and Kin with Budgetary Entitlement from Legislative Largesse Yearly
22. BAGNET: Budgetary Allocations for Government’s Nonsense but Endless Transactions
23. BARBECUE: Budgetary Allotment to Rehabilitate Bossing’s Extravagant Crooks, Underlings and Escorts
24. SPAM: Salaping pinag aagawan ng mga mandurugas
25. People’s Outrage and Resentment over Congress’ Illegal Source and Acquisition of Wealth (PORC ISAW)
26. CHICHARON BULAKLAK: CHangeable and Insatiable CHARging Of Non-BUdgetary LArgesse and Kingly Liars of Kins
Maki-baka din
27. KABAB: Kiboloy-Aided Budget Apportioned Bi-Annually
28. BEEF: Bridges, Excavations & Elevated Roads Fund
29. BULALO: Budgetary Utilization for Literacy Assistance and Livelihood Opportunities
30. BISTEK: Budgetary Initiatives for Secretive Transactions Enhancing Kickbacks
31. PAPAITAN: Presidential Allies’ Political Action and Initiative for Total Allocation of National Budget
32. PARES: Procurement Anchored on Reverted Excessive Surplus
Seafood at veggies
33. PUSIT: Pondo Upang Suportahan Itinatagong Tongpats
34. GOLAY: Government Outlay Line-itemized and Appropriated Yearly
35. FISH: Fund Integration for Social Housing
36.BANGUS: Budget Appropriated by the National Government Unscrupulously Swindled
37. SALAD: Specialized Allocation for Legislators Amelioration and Dalliances ()
Sari-sari
38. Countrywide Universal Priority Initiatives Treasury (CUPIT) Fund
39. Totally New Government PDAF Audited to Satisfaction (TONGPATS)
40. National Assistance Program of Lawmakers Engaged in Swindling (NAPOLES)
41. Holistic Lawmaking for Development of All Filipinos (HOLDAF)
42. Countrywide Allocations With Accountability and Transparency (CAWAT)
43. National Allotment for Countryside Amelioration and Welfare (NACAW)
44. Bossing Allies Development Budget Overage Yearly (BAD BOY)
45. Countrywide Outreach and Rehabilitation Assistance Fund (CORAF)
46. National Allotment for Countrywide Amelioration and Welfare Initiative Fund (NACAWIN FUND)
47. Total Reallocation of Assistance for Political Objectives (TRAPO)
48. House Appropriation for Yearly Overpriced Projects (HAYOP)
49. Government Allocations Rerouted to All Political Allies and Leaders (GARAPAL)
50. Budgetary Utilization for Government Officials’ Kickbacks (BUGOK)
51. Budget Utilisation for Selfishness and Own Gratification. (BUSOG)
52. PANCIT – Presidential Account for Nebulous Confidential Intelligence Trainings.
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— Ang may akda ay insider sa proseso ng pagluluto ng pambansang badyet sa loob ng maraming taon. Hindi siya kailanman sumang-ayon sa pinaggagawa ng mga kusinero o tumikim sa haram nilang ulam.
